Stages of dating a widower

The pain of losing someone may be the same, but the grieving process may be different in sudden death cases and in cases where the married couple had time to prepare, talk, and have some closure.A widow or widower should wait until they feel ready to date again, and they should not be rushed or discouraged by other people. Look, here’s my best advice: know your must have’s, and go into every date looking for at least one thing that is RIGHT about him. It is true that some think they are ready but not (just like after a breakup, right? Don’t assume any specific number of months or years is required until he’s ready. In fact just writing that makes me feel like throwing up.

There are many challenges widowers have to face when thinking about dating again. Most widowed people report feeling guilty about dating again, as if it were somehow a betrayal of their departed spouse, even in those cases where they knew their spouse would want them to be happy again. However, the feelings of guilt should recede over time, until the widow or widower is completely comfortable with dating again.

If the guilt does not go away, it probably means that it’s too soon.

Be it due to an illness, or suddenly in an accident, it leaves a painful hole behind.

Although most people eventually recover from this terrible loss and rebuild their lives once more, not everyone finds it easy to start dating again.

Most have not, because of the very issues you have raised. My advice here is to a woman who has met one of the “gems” that I introduced to you at the start of this article: one who had a good, long marriage…knows how to love, communicate, commit, work through problems …misses being married…pours himself into [a relationship].

(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy.

Again, I truly DO love and appreciate hearing from you. What you share here is meaningful to me and also helps inform the thousands of women who are reading these posts.

The death of a spouse is one of the most traumatic events that can befall a person.

And my answer may surprise you: widowers are some of they best, most eligible, grownup men out there. Well, for starters, a man who had a good, long marriage can be a great catch! But they developed great communication and worked through them. You don’t know the situation – maybe she was sick a long time which often means he’s ready to start new…learn his story, don’t make assumptions. I can’t even imagine the agony of living through that at any time of one’s life; certainly any time before, say, our 80s.

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